The Weight of Immortality
by LiveLife213
Summary: Few weeks before the wedding, an old love stumbles into Edward's life. She was a mortal, who is now married and in her late 30s. Their meeting had been strange enough, but now the reason for their old breakup seems an ominous sign for his wedding.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: All characters, except Eleanor, Mark & Nicole, are not mine! The rest belong to Stephanie Meyer who created them and gave them breath.

Time: Three Weeks before Edward's wedding to Bella.

Edward saw the look of false perkiness written across Alice's face, and he knew that something was wrong.

"Alice," Edward said through gritted teeth, "What did you just see?"

Alice easily brushed him off with an airy wave and the reply, "Oh nothing, Edward. Stop worrying!"

Edward's attempt to probe the answer from her mind was also a failure. Alice's brain seems to contain nothing but the flower arrangements and the guest list for his wedding. At the thought of his wedding, Edward relaxed and looked over at Bella. She was gorgeous and radiating from the youthful gleam that only a seventeen old could possess. Nothing could ale her, Edward knew, and though Bella has certainly had her share of danger, she still held onto that innocence that love could somehow fix all obstacles.

Alice's voice broke off his musing. "Oh Edward, be a dear and hand over Bella. I _need_ her."

Bella suddenly tensed up and held onto Edward, begging for safety from Alice's wedding extravagance. However, in the end, Alice always had her way. Edward returned to his room, and put a record as he began to think of Bella. Thinking was a very common habit for a hundred year old vampire stuck in the physical body of a seventeen year. For Edward, his mind has become his only escape from the tragedy of his fate, and he sometimes thought, in his darkest moments, that he might one day go mad from the sheer weight and burden that his mind is forced to carry. His mind is supporting his body, and no mind, Edward feels, can subsist under such a stress.

He has confided these thoughts before to Esme, who assured him that with his wedding and Bella's companionship, the thoughts would be vanquished. However, Edward was not so sure. He was sure that she would come to regret this decision, and he would have to feel the whole weight of guilt.

"Oh Edward," Jasper joked, entering Edward's room and breaking his thoughts. "You managed to stay away from Bella for 3 hours. A new record."

Grinning, Edward replied, "well, Alice is getting her wedding dress fixed. And you know, the whole bad luck thing about seeing a bride before a wedding."

"Oh nonsense." Jasper lightly refuted. "I have seen Alice in her dress before the wedding. Of course, she tore my eyeballs out, but that's okay. Carlisle popped them back in pretty quick."

They both laughed, and Edward replied, "Yeah, but that was at your third wedding."

"Whatever. God, there's way too much happiness in this house what with you and Bella acting like dying lovers and Alice all hyper about the wedding. I think I'm gonna take off." Bounding out of the room at top speed, Jasper exited the room, leaving Edward to dream about tasting chocolate cake with Bella in the sunshine.

At seven o'clock, the Cullen family all sat around the dinner table filled with food though Bella was the only one eating. While the rest of the family was engrossed in conversation, Bella grabbed Edward's hands under the table, causing a slight smile to appear on both of their faces.

"So Bella. Liking Eddie's marble hands?" Emmet joked.

Bella blushed, which caused Emmet to bust into laughter.

"Emmet" Carlisle warned in a fatherly tone, and Emmet quieted.

"So how was work?" Esme asked.

"It was great. I am going to perform this really complex brain surgery in a few days. I'm not sure if the patient will make it. It's in a really intricate part of the brain, and the tumor has grown to such an enormous size that it will take some work to get it all out."

"Can I watch?" Edward asked for it was not everyday that a surgery stunned Carlisle.

"I don't know Edward. Don't you have to go hunting soon?"

Edward had completely forgotten about the trip. In fact, he did not even feel thirty until Carlisle had mentioned the trip. Next to him, Bella's hands gave an involuntary twitch, and despite himself, Edward imagined how she would behavior on her own hunting trips when she was changed. The idea haunted Edwards, but he refused to dwell upon a subject that he and Bella had already spent days arguing.

After dinner, they watched Wuthering Heights though Edward cared not for the movie itself. He took no pleasure in seeing two irrational people foolish enough to throw away their love for no good reason. And despite Edward's continual argument that Cathy and Heathcliff's love was destructive, Bella insisted that it was romantic and beautiful. Bella dozed off towards the end for she had such a long day with Alice, so Edward carried her upstairs and after writing a short note saying that he will be back in a day or so, kissed her softly on the forehead and left.

During the trip, Emmet and Jasper surprised Edward with a mountain lion as a pre-wedding present. When they got home, all feeling thoroughly rested, Edward decided to make a b-line to the hospital to try and sneak into the observation booth. When he got there, a nurse informed him that Dr. Cullen had already finished the surgery, but it was very successful. Deciding to congratulate him, Edward was halfway to his office when he saw a little girl with curly brown hair crying and holding a white rabbit. Her large green eyes glazed with tears, and she was looking utterly bewildered. Reading her mind, he discovered that she was lost, so he picked her up and tried to console her.

"Sh..Sh.." Edward tried to rock the girl like he had seen in movies. "It's okay….I'll help you find your mommy."

"Mommy" she hiccupped "busy…..Daddy….Daddy"

"Okay, I'll help you find Daddy. It's okay. Please don't cry." Edward almost pleaded the last sentence.

Edward walked her around the hospital, asking nurses along the way if they knew who she was. Meanwhile, he tried to make small talk. She was so cute.

Putting on a smile, he asked "So, what's your name?"

"Nicole," she hiccupped again.

"That's a pretty name, Nicole. I'm Edward."

"Eddie?"

"No Edward." He hated the nickname. It made him seem even younger.

"Eddie!" Nicole was determined, and he was not going to say no to a little girl.

Seeing her rabbit, Edward decided to ask about it. "So who's your friend there?"

"Her name is Carrot. What you like to say hi to her?" Nicole asked timidly in a soft high voice.

"Um…sure. Hi Carrot, I'm Edwar – Eddie."

Nicole put the rabbit's years upon to her wrong, and replied authoritatively after a few moments. "Carrot says hi. She likes you. I like you too"

"Really?" Edward was sure that his static heart had just ached, and he wished at that moment, more than anything else, that he could have a child like her. He knew that he had to pay a price for living eternally. Besides, sacrifices are there to make one appreciate the blessings that one already has. However, all of a sudden, he was angry at his own rationality, and he wanted to throw up hell and rip apart his vampire body.

Nicole seems to have magically felt the tension, and she squirmed in his arm. Returning to her immediately, he asked her more questions about Carrot, and soon she was giving him the entire biography. Edward smiled the whole way, and he felt lucky to be holding something as delicate as a child.

As they reared to the third hallway on the second floor, Edward was now pretending to ask Carrot her favorite hiding hole in the forest when Nicole suddenly yelled "DADDY!" and as Edward instinctively lowered her, she ran into a man's arms.

"Baby, where have you been? God, I was so scared! You could have been kidnapped or…." The man trailed off and kissed her daughter's hair.

"It's okay, Daddy. Eddie helped me find you. He saved me Daddy!"

Edward smiled again. She really was too cute. The man looked at him, and after shaking his hands, thanked him with much enthusiasm. "I'm so happy you found her. You have no idea how much this means to me. It's not everyday that you find a teenager willing to help a child. I'm Mark, by the way."

"I'm Edward, and it really was no trouble." Edward did not mention that though he looked sixteen, his mind had long grown past puberty.

"Her mother would have never forgiven me if I lost her. God you should have seen her face when I told her that Nicole kind of wandered off. But I suppose all mothers are like that." He smiled, and insisted upon introducing Edward to his wife. He declined for he was eager to return to Bella, and Mark after thanking him again, turned around to find his wife.

Three guesses on who the wife is.

Please Review Everyone.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I do not own any of the characters except the OCs. They all belong to Stephanie Meyer.

However, Mark had not walked two steps before the door swung open, and a doctor in a white coat rushed through them. Edward's first impression was that she had not changed a bit, which was a bit of a delusion. Her beautiful brown hair that always used to swing freely was now tied up into a bun that made her seem rather stern. Edward could also detect hint of whitening at the roots. Wrinkles were beginning to house themselves on her face, and her brow was currently raised in worry, something that Edward had rarely seen. The shadows under her eyes, Edward knew, were no longer from the all-night parties. And yet, despite the signs of aging, she still looked like the same Allie that had broken his heart twenty years old.

Not noticing anyone else but her daughter, she rushed past Edward and ran straight to Nicole, planting kisses all over her face. Nicole giggled.

"Mommy. Stop it. Stop it! You're crushing Carrots!"

"Carrots?" She then took the bunny and kissed it too. Turning to Mark, she hit his shoulder with anger. "How could you? All you had to do was look after her!"

"I'm sorry, honey. Come on. It was one time. Besides, you forgive me, don't you Nicole?"

He lightly pulled Nicole's nose, causing more giggles, assurances that all was indeed forgiven. He then put his free arm around Allie and softly kissed her on the lips, murmuring another apology. Edward closed his eyes, and tried to silently leave the scene.

"Eddie saved me, Mommy." He could feel Allie tensing besides him. She turned around with a small breath of surprise and noticed him for the first time.

"Edward. What a surprise. I had..had…not expect to see you here." She stuttered as Carlisle's promise that he would not be there coursed through her mind. Her first emotion was jealousy as she looked at the gorgeous, ageless Edward. She, who had started using all these ridiculously expensive crèmes, was no match against Edward's magic fountain of youth. He was just standing there, and his youth seemed to mock her. And yet, she knew that she was being irrational. She had made her decision twenty years old.

Looking at Edward was surreal, the closest word Allie could find to describe her emotions. The Edward that Allie remembered belonged to the past, and yet there he was, standing against time and becoming now a part of her present. He was her first true love, and there he was, returning to her in the exact form that she remembered. It was all too confusing.

Mark looked surprised "Do you two know each other?"

"No!" She replied hastily, and then seeing her husband's confusion. "I mean, Yes. I know his father. Dr. Cullen?"

"Oh! You're Dr. Cullen's son. No wonder! He sure raised you right."

Edward and Allie both laughed awkwardly. Despite himself, Edward's mind flashed back to the dingy dorm parties that Allie used to drag him too where the music was too loud and beyond comprehension, and where drunken girls would half throw themselves on him. She would lead him onto dance floor, and when he tried to refused, she offered him alcohol. Laughing, Edward remembered drinking the vile tasting beer though it had no effects on vampires, but Allie did not know that. He had been more free back then or rather Allie had made him more careless. She had a knack when it came to persuading people. In fact, Alice used to joke that Allie was Jasper's human counterpart.

After the a few moments of silence, Allie spoke up.

"Listen, we ought to leave soon. But I just wanted to apologize for not being able to make it to your wedding. I truly wish you every happiness."

Edward was confused. He had deliberately not invited her to the wedding. Then who – Alice, of course. But what is Alice up to? Why would she invite Allie of all people?

Before Edward could reply, Mark spoke up with concern. "You're getting married? Aren't you a bit young?"

Allie looked over at Mark with an uneasy smile. "Oh come on, Mark. Who are we to stand in the way of true love?"

Mark still looked uneasy, and peering into his mind, Edward discovered that Mark thought that Edward had probably impregnated the girl.

Replying to Allie, Edward said, "I'm sorry that you couldn't come to wedding. I think Alice and Rosalie will be disappointed at missing the chance to see you again."

Turning around to leave the scene as quickly as possible, Edward wanted desperately to return home and demand answers from Alice when he was stopped yet again by Carlisle coming towards them.

Raising his hands in greeting, Carlisle spoke, "Anne, I'm so glad not to have missed you. I just received a call from my wife demanding that you join us for lunch tomorrow. She and others are refusing to take no for an answer."

Both Allie and Edward could not believe this. All they wanted was to put aside this more than awkward meeting, and yet the entire Cullen family seems determined to see their reunion through. Allie tried to find excuses, anything, but she knew that Alice had probably foreseen Allie's entire schedule, and she knew never to bet against Alice.

"I – well, Mark has to leave for his conference in LA tomorrow, but my flight doesn't leave until the evening, so I guess I'm free"

"Great!" Carlisle replied.

Edward had no idea how on earth he was going to tell Bella about this.

* Hey, what do you think? I know that everyone likes to think of Edward as a saint, but even saints need to have let go and have fun sometimes. And that's what Allie offered him, a chance to stop worrying, and he took it*

*Any comment would be very helpful.*

*Next Chapter: Edward confronts Alice*


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as he was out of the hospital, Edward called Alice.

"Meet me at the woods behind our house now." He growled into the phone. "Do not tell Bella about this!"

Alice was there when Edward arrived, and before he could articulate his anger, Alice cut him off. "Look, I know that you don't really want to see her, especially so close to your wedding. But I had the clearest vision that you, Allie and Bella were having an important discussion. Look, I know that you have been having doubts about Bella becoming a vampire, and I think Allie might be the one to put your worries to rest."

Edward could not help but scoff. "Are you kidding me? If anything, Allie would make me more doubtful. Do you not remember what happened twenty years old?"

"Look," Alice said defiantly. "I don't think anybody could forget what happened. But I'm just saying, maybe there's more to the breakup?"

"You mean, other than the fact that she did not want to become a monster like me?"

"Look, something just doesn't add up, okay? She knew you were a vampire for three month before she broke up with you. If she was so repulsed, like you think, why didn't she end the relationship sooner?"

"You did not see what was inside her mind. When she told me that we were over, I read her mind. It was filled with a lot of jumble, yes, but the one clear image was of me pouncing on a lion and sucking out its blood. Blood was all over my mouth and shirt, and she was just horrified. But the scariest part of that image was the fact that it was accurate. It is what I do. It is what we all do."

Alice could see that Edward was clearly flustered. He had never told anyone the story, and Alice could see why. Allie had unknowingly told Edward that his worst fear was true; people did think that he was a monster.

But nevertheless, Alice tried to reason. "The vision was so clear, Edward."

Edward replied in the coldest voice ever, spitting out each word. "You have been wrong about Allie before."

Alice did not know what to say, so she just left. But before she went far, Edward called out, "Don't you dare tell Bella about this either."

She had underestimate Edward's bitterness towards Allie. She was his first love, it was true. But she had thought that with time and Bella's arrival, he could heal. Besides, Edward was always so understanding, but perhaps with Allie, he was too understanding. After Allie had left, Edward was drenched in self-anger and, as always, blamed himself for their failed relationship.

Alice signed. She wished that she could see the outcome of Edward and Bella's conversation with Allie, but Allie was always so unpredictable. However, Alice could not deny that a part of her wanted to see Allie again. It was impossible not to enjoy Allie's presence, and she was going to bring her daughter, something that she and Rosalie were particularly excited about.

When Edward finally entered into his room, he was immediately greeting by Bella, who practically jumped on him.

"Thank God you're back. You **have** to save me from Alice. I think I might finally lose it."

Edward laughed. He really had missed Bella. Without much thought, he leaned down and pressed his mouth roughly to hers. He felt elevated at finally letting go, but he quickly felt Bella's surprise. Withdrawing, he murmured an apology, but he could not even finally the word sorry before Bella's lip met up to his. Edward felt the delight of light-headedness.

"So, you really missed me, huh?" Bella said in her attempt at a flirtatious voice.

"Yeah" was all he could reply back.

That night at dinner, too many emotions were floating around the table. Each of the Cullens had their opinion on Allie's arrival. Rosalie was practically beaming with happiness, but Esme was a little nervous that Edward had refused to let anyone tell Bella about his past relationship. Carlisle was completely calm and certain that everything was going to turn out fine. Emmet was already thinking of jokes to tease Allie, and Edward was still mad at Alice, who seemed to have had another vision though she had covered her thoughts up. However, Bella, being human, could not detect the nuances in the moods of vampires, and when she was told that an old human friend of theirs was coming to lunch, she appeared glad that there was finally someone else to eat with.

That night, Edward held onto Bella while she slept, but unfortunately, his thoughts kept jumping back to the past. His inability to sleep was really starting to irritate him for right then and there, he just wanted to rest his mind and banish away all thoughts of her, even if only for a few hours.

*Any review would be very helpful!*

*Next Scene, Flashback*


	4. Chapter 4

Eleven Years Earlier

Eleanor Ackerman never seemed bothered by her reputation as a tease. In fact, at times, she almost appeared proud by such a title. It helped her get guys, and she never lacked a date. She was determined to make the most of her youth and beauty before they vanished, before she is forced to settle down, marry, and be a trophy wife and soccer mom. This fate, however nightmarish, seemed inevitable.

Another September had come, and Allie was now junior at college, studying premed half-heartedly. She really enjoyed her classes, but at times, it seems hardly worth the effort if her husband was going to be main provider anyways. Her first class was Advance Human Physiology 431, and it was a double. Allie, tired from having partied a bit too hard last night, was still waiting for the aspirin to kick in when Edward Cullen entered the room.

Allie groaned. He was still just as gorgeous as he had been last year or the year before. Yet, Edward Cullen never showed any interest in partying, lived by himself in a huge house with his brothers and sister, and never dated. However, the hard-to-get aspects of Edward Cullen's character only attracted more girls. Yet, Allie always got the feeling that his piercing gaze could see all her faults, and it disturbed her. Also, his closeness to his adopted siblings was the subject of more than one drunken blabber.

As Professor Duncan came in, everyone fell silent. After all, the class consisted of the most talented pre-med students in Dartmouth, all hoping for his recommendation that will get them into any med school. He started the class with a small speech.

"Morning class. I'm not going to bother with roll call because I could care less who is not in this class. Now, I'm sure everyone is wondering who their lab partners are going to be. Well, you don't get to chose them in this class. So listen for your name, and go sit with that person. Oh, and I don't care if your partner is your ex boyfriend that cheated on you on your birthday. Slap him, and then shake his hands."

Without waiting for a response, he called the names.

"Ackerman with Cullen. Barnes with Danes…."

Allie groaned inwardly. For years, Allie had been finding excuses not the make Cullen her latest conquest. But now that they were lab partners, she knew that her friends would all be pushing her to warm his cold heart. When Professor Duncan finished the roll call, Allie did not stir from her seat. Cullen was going to have to come to her. He did so, and sat down without so much as an introduction. Whatever.

Edward meanwhile was reading Allie's mind, and was not surprised to find that she was exactly the partying girl that everyone always talks about. Wondering what she was doing in an advanced pre-med class, Edward decided that he did not really care as long as she did not ask for his help. They barely spoke for the rest of the double, did the lab, finished early, and was allowed to leave. They parted silently, Allie going to get another aspirin and Edward to his next class.

It went on like this for weeks. After discovering that Allie's friends had told her to "conquer that beastly Edward Cullen", he tried to tune her out, uninterested in yet another girl trying to score a date with him. However, from time to time, he still listened in on her thoughts. He was surprised to find that she was actually intelligent for a human who only lived for twenty years, and that she was quite good at the lab work. However, her racy behaviors and the fact that she does not want a serious relationship showed horrible morals.

Professor Duncan interrupted his thoughts. "Ms. Ackerman, a perfect 100. Why, you tied with Cullen. That's an accomplishment in of itself"

Edward stared in utter shock and horror. Allie smiled. She had been trying to figure out for weeks on how to get Cullen to notice her, and she had finally accomplished it. At lab that day, he spoke to her for the first time.

"I never cut you to be the sort of pre-med student."

She looked at him, but he was concentrating on the fetal pig at hand. "Really? Why because I like to party?"

"Well, yes."

"Maybe you shouldn't judge a book by its cover."

"I'm not. I'm judging it by its content."

"Well, maybe you should read the entire book then." Edward looked up, and Allie flashed him her most flirtatious and inviting smile. Edward knew that she was toying with him, but it was working. He noticed how her brunette hair matched her gray eyes beautifully, and that she was actually quite pretty. Her big smile made her look gorgeous and innocent at the same time. However, stopping himself, he looked back to their dissected pig and did not speak for the rest of the period. Allie, on the other hand, was getting restless. When they were at the door, and about to part, Allie stopped him.

"So are you gay? Is that the thing?"

Taken a back, Edward stuttered "No. I'm…not…gay…gay."

Allie smiled again "Then how about dinner?"

"No. I can't"

"Why not? Am I just that repulsive?"

Realizing that Allie was pushing him into a trap, he tried to get himself away from the bait. "You're not repulsive."

Unfortunately, Allie has way more experience when it comes to dating.

"So what about that dinner?"

Edward decided to employ the same excuse that he used on all the other girls "Look, I'm just not interested in you okay. Goodbye." Walking away before she could reply, Edward however felt a twinge of regret that he did not say yes. It was not that Edward was not attracted to girls, but rather he saw no need to date if he could not marry any of them. Born in the early 20th century, he still believed that courtship should lead to marriage, and no one wanted to marry a monster.

Allie was disappointed, but was also energized by the challenge at hand. Going over possible strategies in her head later that night, she was surprised when Alice Cullen of all people bounded up to her. After explaining that she knew all about what happened, she told Allie that she would be glad to arrange a date between them.

"But Edward does not even like me."

Alice smiled her pixy smile. "Oh, trust me, he does. He's just afraid of dating in general which is why I think you would be perfect for him. Just trust me."

Following Alice's plan, Allie did not speak or think on the subject of dating Edward for a few weeks. During that time, they began talking more, and Edward enjoyed the fact that Allie could always make him laugh and that her wild side was actually somewhat sexy. He knew she still liked him, but he did not mind it as much anymore.

"So, how about dinner?" Allie asked one day. Edward was taken aback, but not all that displeased. "We could eat at your house," Allie added.

"My house? No, that's not a good idea. Emmet and Jasper are having girls over," Edward made up wildly.

"That's not what Alice told me," Allie's smile was smug.

"Alice? You talked to Alice?"

"I was told that you never bet against Alice, and she says that she saw us having dinner together at your house tomorrow. Pick me up at eight and don't be late" With those words, she left the room, bit worried about whether he was going to stood her up or not.

But Edward arrived at her dorm at eight dressed as a perfect gentlemen. He took her to his house right by campus, and Allie loved the Cullen family.

-End of Flashback-

Edward ran back to home feeling frustrated and fluttered at Allie's return. She was married, and she has a daughter, the perfect daughter. He could not understand why Alice would invite her to the wedding. Was this her idea of a joke? Did she not remember how much he loved Allie? She was the first girl that he had seriously dated, and she made him feel like he was just 20. He let his guard down around her. She was too wild to hurt, he had reasoned, and the simple truth was, when he was with her, he had too much fun.


End file.
